i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize