It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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