is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
