I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
