Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
