my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize