I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
