4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
