so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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