I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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