She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
