I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
