I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
