Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
