One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
