I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
