he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
