i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
