u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize