people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize