we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
