batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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