Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize