Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
