But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
