his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
