She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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