my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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