i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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