I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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