over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
