ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
