He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
