Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
