My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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