come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
