I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
