Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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