Soap is not a condiment
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
