you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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