my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
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Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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