Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
