I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
