I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
