god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
