It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
