you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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