I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
