We won't sleep together?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
