one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
