I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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