My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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