as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
