Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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