So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
