I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
